"Becoming Marriageable"

I gave the lesson in my Elders Quorum today. This was the information that I put on to a one-sheet handout that I gave to those in attendance. 

Becoming Marriageable
President Howard W. Hunter said this about marriage: “Being happily and successfully married is generally not so much a matter of marrying the right person as it is being the right person.” I like that. “The conscious effort to do one’s part fully is the greatest element contributing to success.”
-Thomas S. Monson

“If you are a young man of appropriate age and are not married, don’t waste time in idle pursuits. Get on with life and focus on getting married. Don’t just coast through this period of life. Young men, serve a worthy mission. Then make your highest priority finding a worthy, eternal companion. When you find you are developing an interest in a young woman, show her that you are an exceptional person that she would find interesting to know better. Take her to places that are worthwhile. Show some ingenuity. If you want to have a wonderful wife, you need to have her see you as a wonderful man and prospective husband.
-Richard G. Scott
 

“Brethren, there is a point at which it’s time to think seriously about marriage and to seek a companion with whom you want to spend eternity. If you choose wisely and if you are committed to the success of your marriage, there is nothing in this life which will bring you greater happiness.”
-Thomas S. Monson

Temporal
Education
- To educate future children
● Pursue higher education
● Gain knowledge

Career
- To provide for family
● Networking
● Informational Interviews
● Internships

Personal Development
-- To provide service to those in need
● Physically, fitness and
healthy eating
Skills:
● Finance, budgeting
● Auto maintenance
● Home repairs
● First Aid/CPR

Spiritual

Education
- To educate future children
● Continue spiritual learning
● 3hr Church, Institute, FHE,
personal study, mission

Calling
- To provide for ward family
● Strengthens ward and helps
you learn and grow.
● Missionary work

Personal Development
- To provide service to those in need
● Priesthood, be worthy and
exercise it
● Use skills to bless the lives
of others

Juror #8 Henry Fonda style

I had big shoes to fill. Juror #8 in 12 Angry Men was Henry Fonda. I'd say I did my job.

After a full day of listening to witnesses, many questions, quite a few objections, and nearly constant "may we approach?" (when the attorneys had a questions for the judge or had to explain an objection or reason for why they were asking a certain question) it was finally show time! We the jurors had been assembled in the Juror room many times before but were never allowed to discuss the trial at all. You know how hard that is haha?!?! So we only had about 30min on the first real day to talk it out after the actual trial and figure out where we stood.

10:2

Anyways, here's the case: Mr. E is rearended by Mr. G. Mr. G admits fault. No one is critically hurt. Mr. E goes home and his neck and head start hurting, from whip-lash. Goes to the doctor, gets some pain medicine, gets a CT scan. Next day he goes again cuz his head is still hurting way bad. More meds etc. Two months later he starts complaining about serious pain in his right shoulder. Goes into the doctor to get it checked out, MRI showed cartilage deterioration in several different places. 6 months after the accident he gets arthroscopic surgery in his right shoulder. He's filing the law suit against Mr. G for the surgery cuz he said it was directly related to the accident. 

BUT. The defense brought up alot of evidence that the plaintiff side 'neglected'. Like Mr. E's pre-existing condition in his shoulders. Had been to the doctors several years previously complaining about his shoulders, and it was due to increasing his weight lifting as he was preparing for bow-hunting season. His line of work as well included lifting 75-150lbs daily to and from his truck. He was fired from his job but not for the initial reason that Mr. E testified to. His credibility was brought into question when the defense asked him if he'd ever been counseled or warned concerning his excessive personal cell-phone use during work and he responded never. The defense admitted as evidence into the court an official warning that both Mr. E and his boss had signed stating exactly that, that he was spending too much time with personal calls and not enough actually working. Caught. Several other stories that Mr. E told differed from the accounts he gave in his deposition from directly following the accident. AND Mr. E had been in TWO accidents following the one involving Mr. G. yet he was blamming Mr. G for having caused his need for surgery. 

So back to the Jury room where we began our deliberations. Two felt that they were not convinced that the accident HAD NOT caused the injury and that Mr. G should pay the full amount: $24,000. The majority of us felt that it was reasonable for Mr. G to pay the medical from the day of and day following the accident but given his lifestyle, previous medical history with his shoulder, and the accidents which followed, should not have to pay for the surgery. One felt that Mr. G shouldn't have to pay anything, that it was all a scam for Mr. E to get more money to pay off his bills.

So really we were at 2-9-1.

When we'd try and convince the two about why he shouldn't have to pay as much it just served to strengthen the one person's vote that he shouldn't have to pay anything. And when we tried to convince the one that he should at least have to pay for some of the bills it served to strengthen the other two's vote that he should be paying! haha kinda tricky..

Oh and by the way, we definitely had some of the characters from 12 Angry Men in our jury group haha.. the guy with the glasses who's well educated and had good points to bring up; the baseball guy who doesn't wanna be there, has his vote and isn't gonna change and just wants to get outta there; then you have the quiet guys who never had much to say and just followed the main stream. 

Then you had Juror #8: Henry Fonda. 

I brought up several good points that although it wasn't me against the 11 trying to talk them out of settling for the death penalty on such a clear-cut case, it still served to strengthen the argument and eventually led to the compromise and final amount.

Probably the best point I brought up, there were several but because they involved other evidence I haven't yet mentioned I won't bring up, was wondering when in all this process of additional accident, getting fired, and doctors visits and surgery was this suit filed. Haha it was classic 12 Angry Men, 'oh yah.. yah how about that? I hadn't thought about that..' haha. Luckily one of the girls had read on the door that the suit had been filed 642 days earlier. I did the math and then announced to the group that roughly the suit had been filed approximately 1 year after the surgery and 1 1/2yrs after the accident involving Mr. G. That seemed to suggest that Mr. E had incurred debt, both medical and for the accidents he'd caused, didn't know how to pay, and decided to file suit against Mr. G to try and get money. That helped to convince the other two that Mr. G shouldn't have to pay. We had convinced the one that Mr. G should at least pay for the medical expenses directly related to the actual accident.

So the majority of us were okay with an amount between $3600- $5000. The one was okay with 36 but the other was okay with 5 and didn't wanna move. When we were able to convince the 36 to come up to 4 we were still stuck and people started getting antsy. Lucky for them the voice of reason and compromise spoke and Juror #8 addressed the two obstinate Jurors. "We've discussed this trial extensively and we've come to an amount of $4000 and $5000. Let's each compromise just a bit more and meet at $4500." Done. No objections. Back to the court room and results are announced and case closed.

That's how you get work done baby.. Henry Fonda style

Act like a man, man

Someone musta gotten the tip off about my having lived in DC the past two months cuz I got jury duty the first day back! AND I was first-round pick baby!! Juror Number 8.. outta 329!! That's like first-team all American right there man!

So I was trying to be optimistic about being there and all, trying to look forward to my chance to serve and be apart of our Nation's Justice System, especially after we were finally in the court room and they started introducing people. Wish I could share with you some of my other thoughts and observations of the day's proceedings but unfortunately I'm sworn to secrecy!

But. I will tell you about the lamest piece of human I think I've ever met. We were stuck trying to get one last Juror that both plaintiff and defense were okay with.. had been stuck one just trying to fill this one seat for about an hour when this kid comes up. He's got to be in his early 20's. The Judge said good afternoon and this kid said 'sup'. Seriously? That's just the beginning. So he answers the basic intro questions, I'm pretty sure he's not in college, prob just HS grad, started his own business: a batting cage. So he gets past the plaintiff side, they were okay with him.. which apparently wasn't what this kid was looking for. It was apparent he wanted to leave. Swiveling in his chair while talking with the attorneys etc. But then the defense attorney asked him essentially if there were anything that would dissuade him from being able to make a good sound decision in the case and even stand up for it with the rest of the jurors. The kids said honestly he wouldn't, that he would side with everyone else just to get it over with. ?!?!

The Defense Attorney was a little flustered, not quite sure what to do.. ended up chatting with the judge, after again asking the kid to try and focus on the facts and evidence that would be presented and the kid essentially said he wouldn't put forth much of an effort to do so. Well, he was released and some other person had to fill his spot. 

I was so disgusted! This kid was sitting right next to me and I was more than just tempted, I was extremely close to either slugging him or bluntly telling him to stinkin' suck it up and be a man! Did he really not think that any of us were just dying to be there?? We all had places we'd rather be, things we gotta get done.. BUT the rest of us understood that it is our duty, our privilege even, to serve as Jurors. This is how our nation's justice system works! WE THE PEOPLE judge ourselves! If we expect the system to work when we are in need on the other side, be it criminal or civil court, we'd better be willing to work the other side of the system too.

What it boils down to tho is selfishness. This kid couldn't get past himself to realize what it was all about. His flaking out caused someone else to have to pick up his duty. Feel like instead of being allowed to leave he shoulda had some sentence passed, floggin, or so many hours of community service. That's exactly what he needs. Get over himself and help someone else. That's one of the reasons service is so important. Helps us keep a good perspective on life and keeps us humble while someone else who is in need benefits thereby. We're all winners when we serve. 

But just in general selfishness causes soooo much grief in the world. I think it's one of the main causes of traffic accidents.. you get people who either try and race recklessly ahead of everyone else or won't let anyone else in etc. tons of examples like that but in so many cases it just ends up making people mad and even causing accidents. I think the main cause of divorce is selfishness. When one starts to put themselves before the other you begin to have problems. Marriage can't last when selfishness prevails.

Anyways, I'm just not sure I've really ever seen anything quite like it before. Really bothered me. And what's bad is I know he's not the only one. What worries me is how many more like him are there? Is it a generational change? If so, how do you fix it? And what would his mother say if she'd been there to witness that act?!?!

The end

Final essay submitted, important files backed up, master log-book updated, internship keys (and fob) handed in, momma's tears shed as I walked across the stage during our graduation procession all combine to signify the end of the DC Experience.

My family came to pick me up and we stayed the night in a Residence Inn. I shared a bed with dallin.. and he totally stole the covers.. and sheet!! I tried yankin them from him but he'd yank em right back! hahaha I thought sleepin on the hard rock 50yr old Georgetown mattress was rough! So i got to sleep in my brand new Georgetown hoodie, compliments from mis padres for graduating from TFAS.

On Saturday we ventured back into DC and hit up the American History and Art museums, elena got her picture at Georgetown cupcakes.. the line was much to long to actually get a cupcake, I got another t-shirt and we were off.

We picked up some Wendys in VA, or tried to is more like it. 5 hungry stomachs ordering mostly off the $1 menu came to just $14?? Yah they missed a few things. After pulling ahead and having to order again and swipe the cards several times we were finally off. The nice VA man didn't want us to think poorly of VA and wanted to make sure it was all perfect and that we had everything.

Once we got home the kids unpacked.. and then repacked for Band Camp. Turns out my parents dropped them off at camp and continued on towards the beach?!? Without telling me!!

So. I'm back at home! And I'm all alone.. but no worries, I've plenty of stopped up sinks at work and Jury Duty this afternoon to keep me busy.

Food in DC (and more about my tie too)

I didn't even think about the fact that I would be having lunch at the Democrat National Club when I put my red tie on this morning. I expected wholeheartedly to get chewed out by lots of people, most especially and most likely by my supervisor especially considering how she'd about died the day I showed up wearing a grey suit and we were going to the hill.. big no-no. I was somewhat disappointed that my tie did not even spark a hint of controversy throughout the entire day. I think I was mostly disappointed because had I at least gotten chewed out it would have meant that at least someone had noticed my ridiculously good-looking tie. Or maybe my tie was noticed and those who chose to be offended by a red tie in a Democrat National Club lunch room were so taken aback by the outstanding beauty of the tie and that of its bearer that all thoughts of hate and resentment ceased only to be filled with love and ... and more love. I think I'll call my red tie the pacifier. Hmm maybe I should wear it and sneak into Congress with all this debt ceiling business.. be able to really bring things to a compromise..

Anyways the meal was excellent and even more delicious since I didn't have to pay for it! Mmm baby! Those are the best kinda meals! haha We were meeting with a professional lobbyist and we asked him tips for gaining more support for our resolution.. and to make sure everything we were doing was legal and all haha. Soo turns out we're basically already doing everything right and in the right order and just need to keep on keeping on.

I was very grateful for the full-course meal though, especially considering my recent Saturday night fiasco. We had a coupon for this pizza place and a large pizza one topping for $10 was looking great.. and then with my uncanny wit and intuition decided to run up to the Georgetown student-run grocery store to buy a frozen pizza and make that! Even cheaper right?!?! Wrong. That dang pizza was not only the same price but it wasn't even frozen!!! My suite mate told me to take it back but well idk.. I wasn't feelin it. Mostly I just didn't wanna be 'that guy' and cause problems for other people. I tried to cook the soft un-frozen pizza but had to stop it like 10min short of being done cuz the cheese was already done and any more and it woulda been toast! So I stuck it in the microwave! haha just to make sure the middle was at least cooked through of whatever had creeped in while it was unfrozen in the student-run grocery store. So it wasn't quite like pizza soup but well the middle definitely wasn't all the way solid hahaha. I was totally kicking myself for not just going ahead with the dang delivery. I'm not saying I was completely wrong in my logic and reasoning to save money by going to the store, no no. I was wrong to put my faith in a 'student-run' grocery store. Yah.. the collected pile of grease in the corner of the freezer in the pizza section shoulda been a dead give away.. Oh well.. whatever doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger right?!

H. Res. 333 (What I've been doing for the past 2 months)

The past several weeks I've been working on gaining support for H Res 333, a house resolution honoring American POWs of WWII. Last year the Japanese government officially apologized for the atrocities committed against American POWs during WWII (like the bataan death march). This resolution officially thanks them for their apology and requests the Japanese companies that purchased POWs and used them for slave labor also acknowledge and apologize for their mistreatment. 

The first several weeks at my internship I spent creating MANY different spreadsheets and databases. I've looked up which congressman represent districts that had battalions that marched the death march; which congressman are on the Foreign Affairs committee, which congressman supported similar POW resolutions in the past, and also which congressman made recent trips to Corregidor. All this information is in my spreadsheets, including: room numbers, telephone numbers, who their Chief of Staff and Veterans Affairs Legislative Assistant are, what bills and resolutions they've supported, how many times we've emailed, called, or visited. It's a big spreadsheet.

Research complete and our resolution having been introduced and receiving a name (that was exciting :) I was gonna name it larry but apparently you gotta name it a number.. poor larry ;) ) it was time to go get some congressman to support it. I've sent out nearly 75 detailed and personal emails to congressional offices requesting their support. When I mean detailed I mean besides introducing and explaining the resolution I also told them what bills and resolutions the congressman had supported in the past, whether he had battalions that fought on bataan or corregidor, and so on. I also had different emails I'd send to Republicans and Democrats, had to changed the wording around a bit to play to their interests. After about a week I then called them up and tried speaking with their Veteran Affairs Legislative Assistant to follow up on the email. That hardly ever happened, maybe like one in eight? And generally when I was able to speak with them they hadn't read the email and hadn't heard of the resolution either. I left voice messages with those I wasn't able to speak with directly. Just gotta get the word out!

When given a name the resolution was then assigned to a specific committee. In order to pass in the Foreign Affairs committee before being considered for house vote the resolution has to have at least 25 co-sponsers, 12 of whom have to be on the Foreign Affairs committee. We've been gaining on average about a 1/4 co-sponsor each day (meaning we get another co-sponsor about every 4 days-ish) for the past couple weeks. But it's started picking up here because of the emails and phone calls I've been making! Almost one a day! We just hit the minimum 25 yesterday!!! Now we just need 6 more Foreign Affair congressman to sign up to co-sponsor the resolution. 

Haha thing is, even when we get the minimum requirements we still gotta wait for the Foreign Affairs committee chair to push our resolution to the top of the pile to have it discussed and voted on in committee. If it makes it outta the committee same thing has to happen in the house.. Speaker of the House has to push it to the top of the list and have it voted on. Still got a long long way to go but this is the first step.

I've got 4 days left.. I'm trying to convince my supervisor to allow me to go up to the hill to try and speak with the Veterans Affairs LAs in person since I've already emailed and called. Figure if my beautifully scripted emails or sultry voice aren't enough that a little in-person visual can't hurt right? Especially when you've got this face.. ;) they don't stand a chance..

Going once, twice, SOLD!

Our program has several different institutes. I am apart of the International Affairs section of the Institute on Comparative Economic and Political Systems. There's a business institute, and among others a Philanthropy Institute. This institute has had several different fundraisers in order to raise money to give to a nearby charity at the end of our program. One of these fundraisers was a date auction. I didn't actually attend or participate.. but my roommates did and they have stories.

Scenario One: 

One roommate of mine is loaded. LOADED. I knew money wasn't really a concern to him but I had no idea just how much a concern it wasn't till I heard this story! So the last date is ready to be auctioned off. It's 4 of the Program Advisers (all girls) and they'd talked to my roommate and told him that they were nervous that no one would bid for them. He said he'd bid and not to worry. So the bidding started off and in a jiffy was already up to $100!! Is that not ridiculous?!?! It's essentially between my roommate and one other kid, going back and forth. So my roommate continues to bid and it gets to the point where it's his turn to bid $150.. but he decides to go for the throat: "I'll bid $200 if the date includes the auctioneer". Apparently the auctioneer was quite the looker.. Haha it took some persuading but she accepted and my roommate got the date with 4 PA's and the auctioneer for $200!!!!!!!!! Ohhh man, just think how many NORMAL dates you could go on with that much money.. Funny thing is tho.. since the auction my roommate has been unable to track down the auctioneer..

Scenario two:

My real roommate, the one I actually share a room with, is more normal concerning $$ woes. He started bidding for one girl but the price got too high so stopped, but then did end up bidding and winning another girl for $50. Still quite a bit just to go out for ice cream. BUT!! Same thing happened with him too! It's been nearly two weeks and she has been MIA!!!

Both roommates have been trying to contact them via cell phone but neither has responded!! How messed up is that?!?! These guys paid good $$ just to go out ONCE to dinner or to get ice cream. What were these girls expecting?!?! They'd agreed to be auctioned off which guess what?? Also means you gotta actually go out on the date with the guy who bids highest!!!

The second scenario girl just recently responded to my roommates texts, which were well spaced out and not too pushy mind you, and she requested that roommates be able to go on the date too!?!?!?! hahaha oh man.. he didn't bend too easily tho. She then said that she just didn't want him to get any wrong ideas or impressions cuz she has someone back home..

Hmm, i wonder how much I'd go for.. haha maybe that's it! They just wanted to know how much they'd go for.. not actually go through with it!! sneaky.. Anyways, pretty funny and unique experience i'd say..