Business Card Magic: Networking round 2

Tonight we had a round table discussion (with dinner provided!! :) ) with some of the alumni of our TFAS Program. We were able to ask questions and they were able to give advice. The man at our table was very informative, great guy. 

For dessert we were able to stand up and mingle with the other alumni and ask them questions. So I get in line to talk with this lady who'd worked on Capitol Hill and had talked about knowing quite a bit about foreign affairs/service. Lots of other people had the same idea. Had to wait a while but boy was it worth it!! :)

So let me preempt this by describing the TFAS student body: Geniuses. All of em. And then there's me.. I gotta average em out!! or something like that.. okay I snuck in.. :/

So she's getting asked all these wild and crazy questions about actual policies that are being implemented in certain parts of the world and their effects etc. and I'm just like okay these kids are overthinkin this just a bit.. I'm gonna ask her how to get a stinkin' job! 

So my turn FINALLY comes. I don't have much time so I gotta hit her with my info quick: "Hey! I'm Jeff Despain! (insert smolder here) I speak four languages. I'm thinking foreign service would be good no? Tell me more." Bam! So she talked about foreign service for a bit, how it works etc. 

Oh and another thing they teach you which I don't fully understand WHY yet but for whatever reason if you're gonna ask a question you gotta ask AT LEAST two, at the same time usually. Maybe it's supposed to show whoever you're asking that you've got a brain and can think of more than one question? But the person answering the question always has to ask what the questions were again or gets mixed up somehow so I really don't understand why, it just complicates things.

Anyways, so to be like all the other kids I ask her another question: what impact the foreign service has on raising a family. She asked if I was married and if I had kids yet. Hahaha I'm sorry but if you've seen me I look like I'm 17 still. But to be honest it was nice to hear from someone that I at least look like I could potentially already be married AND have offspring. With her personal question as to my marital status I looked around rather sheepishly and embarrassingly at the small crowd that had gathered.. and then noticed I was surrounded by a crowd a single girls. Hahaha and with the question I raised about raising a family (and remembering I'd just mentioned I speak 4 languages of course) I noticed all these girls' eyes were all starring at me and I swear they all blinked at me at the same time!! "Doink Doink" hahahaha. 

As if that wasn't good enough this lady then said that she has MANY single female foreign service/officer friends for whom she is on the lookout for suitable husbands. 

AND THEN SHE ASKED ME FOR MY BUSINESS CARD!!!!!!

Hahaha gosh it was soo great. I then got to talk about my internship and how I was changing the world by having helped introduce a resolution into the House just last week, of course talking it down as if it were nothing, which really it is haha. All the sudden all the girls started asking me questions like what internship was it and how many kids I wanted to have (haha just kiddin) and honestly looking back I was trying to get outta there as soon as I could hahaha. But what was funny was when I asked if I could have her business card she seemed taken a back like why would you want mine when you have yours?!?!

I thanked her for time, her advice, and her future contacts. ;)

As I turned to leave she gathered the rest of the girls in closer and said: "Girls! I've found a wonderful bachelor for any interested single young ladies" Their giggles echoed off the walls as I strode out of the hall.. with my head a few sizes larger than when I entered ;)

Maybe I'm not so bad at networking afterall..

Ze element of surprise

So the opportunity to make a weekend trip home presented itself this week. It worked out perfectly thanks to Steph. She had a friend who had a friend who's in DC and was going down to Raleigh/Durham on Friday to meet up with friends and head back to DC after church on Sunday. I met up with him Friday afternoon and we hit the road.

I walked into my house and peered around.. no one. I walked into the living room and there was dallin, playin his video-game. He looked over and saw me and I just said hey what's up and walked away, he totally did a double-take haha. I went upstairs where mom was trying to figure out when her court date was.. I know right? Leave for a few weeks and momma starts breaking the law, or at least starts getting caught i guess.. ;) okay so she got called into jury duty and was trying to find out if they needed her when I walk in her room and say 'hey i left somethin in my room I'm just gonna go get it real quick' and then walked out hahaha. Once again I got a dazed and confused look. 'What are you doing home?? Did you get kicked outta ur program??' I surprised Elena the next morning. She was watching a movie with Dallin when she heard me upstairs.. didn't know it was me.. Dallin played along haha. "Dallin, do you hear that? Someone's upstairs.. mom already left right?" 'oh yeah, mom's already gone..' "Then who's upstairs??" 'Ehh i dunno..' So she was excited to see that it was me when I came downstairs.

Anyways I was able to surprise my whole family and lots of my friends, one of which still has my ears ringing cuz she screamed soo loud when she saw me at her door.. Poor neighbors, undoubtedly they're thinking someone got stabbed or shot. Nope. It's just me.. It's okay.. I'm used to it. I made babies cry in Japan just by looking at them.

But it was a great weekend. Was able to take Dallin golfing for his birthday. Was able to see him give a talk in Church. Was able to surprise my dad after he got home from running the study abroad program in Costa Rica for the past 6 weeks. Able to give both of them presents for bday/father's day. Able to allow mom to cut my hair ;) Able to show up to a ward activity and help pull it off. Able to go to church and fulfill my responsibilities there (which was been super hard to from DC). Great to see friends again. So it was great all around. :)

Now back to the grind..

When I say Somalia, you say Pirates.

We talked about Somalia in our Econ class and only 2min of it was about pirates. It's a super interesting situation tho!!! It also happened to be the essay question on my mid-term.

So they were in a terrible condition back in the 80's, with the rural communities accounting for 2/3 of the GDP but only seeing 1/6 of that amount because of the corrupt leaders. Obviously lots of other bad conditions existed but to be brief the State collapsed in '91. Civil war erupted. Tribe fought against tribe. Each wanted to rise as the leader to benefit off the others but when the US and the UN withdrew their forces, no tribe was strong enough to clearly defeat and remain leader of the other tribes in the end. The fighting dissipated with this realization.

Somalia has since existed with a central government and even tho its conditions are still grim they've actually improved economically. Bigger corporations have found place there, as well as cell-phone companies who are unrestricted by government. Although the state collapsed their unit of currency did not fall with it. People still held a certain value to it and with that they were able to proceed. Counterfeiters of course arose and drove inflation through the roof till 1000 Somali Shilling is equal to like $.75.. about the cost required to produce that piece of currency! But they're still able to function with that value.

Plus, since there's no central government to impose taxes or tariffs there is perfectly free competition for basically all firms and organizations! It's been reported that Somalia has some of the clearest cell-phone service. Coca-cola and other large corporations are housed in Somalia as well.

But because there is no central government there is no enforcement of law right? But they do have law and order! It is carried out by their tribal leaders. There is a specific payment required of each crime. For inter-tribal crimes the tribal leaders meet and compromise on an appropriate payment. If they can't come to an agreement or want it checked they get a 3rd-party tribal leader to sort it out. Seems like it'd be pretty easy just to get outta of it tho right? Just don't show up or refuse to pay? Not if you want your family responsible for the payment. They sure don't! But because they are responsible if the offender doesn't pay usually the family 'strongly urges' them to pay. If something happens tho and they wont etc. you can vote them off the island essentially. They become an outcast of the tribe. And if they're killed? Well they weren't apart of the tribe so the tribal laws don't pertain to them! That's why the Somali Pirates aren't a problem to the people of Somalia. Within their own tribes they live within and respect the law.. but for the ships passing by?? Free game man!!

Obviously Somalia is still very poor but they are currently doing better economically without a central government than when they had one.. so like no government is better than a really corrupt one essentially.

"I don't like you anymore.."

I met with my mentor for lunch this afternoon. First time we've met. He's just there to help me if I have any questions while I'm here. A go to guy. He's a nice guy. Mid-30's, wife and two kids, worked in DC for 11 years and alumni of the program in which I currently participate. We talked about what he studied, how the program affected him, how he changed, and where he is today because of it. He gave me general feedback on life and work in DC. Then we talked about me: what I've done, what I'm doing now, and where I'm planning on going.

After me talking about me for about 2min he admitted he didn't like me anymore!! yikes!! geez!! what had I said?? All I'd said was I was an eagle scout, served a 2 year mission for my church, and when I was explaining how I'm not extremely proficient in Japanese he surprisingly asked what I'd been doing for the 2 years I was there?!?! Why hadn't I picked up Chinese or Korean while I was there?? Hadn't even been able to master Japanese?? So I of course had to tell him how I'd spent about half my time in Japan with Brazilians and as a result learned Portuguese. That's when he said I'd crossed the line and was now in his "i dont like you" group!!! Guess I learned my lesson huh? People don't like to hear you talk about yourself!!

haha okay okay so turns out he was kidding, but he has the driest sarcasm I've ever seen!! Absolutely no tonal difference or body language to suggest he did not actual mean what he was saying, while in fact believing just the opposite. Obviously I knew he was kidding.. or at least I really wanted him to be kidding.. cuz at the same time I was like "oh ouch, soft spot.. didn't even learn Japanese even tho I was there 2 years.. geez that's really harsh and we just barely met", but like I said! No clues otherwise.

So yah he opened up, wanted to hear more, and got all excited about all the possibilities that there are for me.. I'm glad he understands.. TOO many options. How in the world am I supposed to choose??

Turns out he says he knows someone who has connections with ALL the embassies. Turns out she's rather motherly and will take me under her wing, most likely place me directly in line to become the next Ambassador of the US to the World.. (practicing my dry sarcasm.. ), not to set the sights too high or anything. ;)

Anything is possible in DC

I will just add that we spoke alot about my mission and when the conversation turned to Salt Lake I was able to talk about Ainsley, who's currently serving in Temple Square. I then pull out my handy-dandy pass along card and let him know if he had any questions he could chat with my sister on mormon.org :) 

Careful with putting too good a word in for me sis.. he already doesn't like me ;)

Father's Day

I was able to visit the homestead of one of our great founding fathers today, George Washington's Mount Vernon. It was rather fitting that today was Father's Day as well!

George Washington was an altogether great and exemplary leader, about whom there is not much negative to say. When his country needed him he stepped up. When it was his time to step down he did so willingly. He did not seek for power or glory. He gave many great years of his life in service to his country.

My dad's not the President of our nation, or the General of our armies, but he is our family's father and a great leader. He works harder than anyone I know, except maybe his father but it'd be a close call :) He has never done anything of which I have been ashamed, embarrassed sometimes yes haha he's a goofy guy sometimes too. He provides for our family's financial, spiritual, and physical needs. He's a teacher and he teaches best by his unfailingly good example.

In short there's none greater.

Thanks Dad.

Be careful what you tell your children..

This morning we were able to go as a group and provide service to the Marvyn Gaye Park near DC. We split into two groups. One group cleared brush and trees and trash out of a major walkway area that the people use to get to the store.. which is mega far away. The other, our group, worked on building a fence around a community garden that they were making. Both groups got a lot done!

On our way back from providing service in the Marvyn Gaye Park near DC I heard one of the girls ask an advisor what the name of the lady that stands atop the capitol building is. It reminded me of a couple stories..

My parents always taught us that this lady's name is Frida, ya know like Frida Kalo the uni-brow spanish painter? I always thought it was sorta a strange name, but oh well! On a return trip they quizzed us again as to what her name was. Frida, we replied. And they busted up laughing? ?? Turns out her real name is freedom but on some tour they went on years ago the tour guide had such a strong accent it sounded like Frida..

Which reminds me of another time I took for granted what my parents taught me and later learned I was wrong. Anytime we'd have Chinese food and had soy sauce Dad always called it 'sudor de elefante' or elephant sweat. Weird right? Especially since there were all these ingredients that were made to make it and it never showed elephant sweat.. but oh well! Dad said it was elephant sweat. And so it was. Apparently that's what they called it in Ecuador when he was a missionary there.

So there I am. Spanish 2. Someone asks the teacher what soy sauce was in Spanish? The teacher opened it up to the class. Oh heck ya! Random Spanish word that I know and can show off in front of the class right? She calls on me.. 'sudor de elefante'. She gave me the most disgusted look I've ever gotten. No one else knew what it meant so she told everyone what it really meant and then I was getting that same look from everyone in the entire class.. I still haven't gotten over it.. No wonder I have such a hard time participating in class. Traumatic experience man..

"Dress standards" at the Hill

I’d forgotten about a pretty funny incidence that occurred before heading off to the hill on Wednesday.

Since I knew I was going to the Hill that day I figured I’d try and look my best to make a good impression, so the recently purchased sexy grey suit it was! And boy was I lookin’ good! Mmm mmm! Heads turnin’ all around me let me know that something was capturing the attention of everyone.. ohh yeah.. all eyes on me baby!

I walk in the door early as requested and as I wish my boss a good morning she said in a panic: “Oh not a grey suit! Ohh I didn’t tell you! Ugh! I should’ve told you you can’t wear a grey suit to the Hill! It just isn’t done! Well what’re we gonna do.. ugh! There just isn’t time. You’ll be fine. It’ll be fine. But you’ll see what I mean. Dark suits. That’s all they wear. Dark suits. No grey.”

Great. All my diligent preparations gone to absolute waste. Now I was DEF gonna stand out, but in the wrong way, it was gonna be painfully obvious I was an outsider..

The excitement of going to the Hill on official House Resolution business turned to anxiety.

So we get to the Hill and are walking the corridors of the office buildings of the congressmen and I’m trying to look for the ‘standard dress of the congressmen’. Maybe I’m just dumb but I couldn’t see it. If there were any consistent theme among the dress standards of those I saw in the corridors it was this: don’t match. Sheesh! The nastiest colored shirts matched with nastily designed ties. That’s what I saw. And I didn’t even notice a consistent theme with the suits either!

Hmm, now that I think about it the Republicans we met with all dressed very nicely.. the mis-matched guys in the halls musta been democrats.. ;)